- Harley Davidsons
- The Religious Right (who incidentally are always wrong)
- Teenagers who roam in packs
- Chevy El Caminos
- Vegetarians and vegans who think their way is the way
- Cilantro
- Spam (the email variety, not the mystery meat)
- Taxes
- Women who think they can multitask while driving
- Texturized Vegetable Protein (no, it does not approximate real meat)
- Adults pushing baby strollers who think they have exclusive rights to sidewalks
- Dog owners who don't pick up their pets' poop
- Cockroaches
- Britney Spears
- Hot and humid weather
- Well-done steak (if it ain't reddish or pink inside, it ain't worth eating)
- Body odor
- Provincial know-it-alls
- Hershey's bars
- Crabby people who work in customer-facing jobs
- Ann Coulter
- Burritos
- People who bring babies to the movies (if you can't find or afford a babysitter, stay home)
- Okra
- Silly people who drive around with music loud enough to wake up the dead
- Bill O'Reilly
- Merlot
- Women who insist on finding exact change at supermarket checkout lines
- Dr. Pepper
- Fast food servers who can't speak or understand English
- Moralizing prudes
- Ricky Martin
- People who never stop talking about money and its trappings
- The sound of my alarm clock in the morning
- Sarah McLachlan
- Cheap balsamic vinegar
- Pop-up ads
- My job